A few years ago, I heard of an interesting conversation a mature daughter had with her father. After a few moments of dialogue, the daughter laughingly told her father, “Dad, you’ve got issues.” And without much thought, her father retorted, “Leave me and my issues alone!” The reason I found this conversation to be interesting, is because I became engaged at the father’s response … “Leave me and my issues alone!” I was amazed that this older gentleman thought that he and his issues could actually be “left alone” or remain in an isolated condition – separate from his relationship with his daughter. What was once interesting became a troubling thought. How many others believe the same thing? How many others behave as an island, dismissing the undeniable truth that their actions affect more than just themselves? How many have unaddressed hurts and wounds of the past that are causing them to behave in a manner that is hurtful and potentially destructive to those they are in relationship with, which adversely affects their fellowship (quality of their relationship)? How many? Absolutely too many!
I must confess, at one point in my life, I was one of the many who had not taken the appropriate time or measures to tend to the wounds of my soul (mind and emotions). Unfortunately, everyone I was in relationship with was subject to the soul wounds of my past that continued to bleed in my present. Finally after years of contaminated relationships, I chose to come to the light and allow the air of Truth to begin my healing process. I am hopeful that if you have been ignorant (unknowledgeable) or “stuck on stupid” (stubborn to acknowledge) to how your issues are affecting others – especially those you claim to love – you will begin to admit, confront, and deal with the why in you – the reasons behind your behavior. Although the reasons for your behavior may be valid, no longer should they be used as excuses for you to remain the same.
Someone is Dealing with the Why in You Everyday!
With the revelation I currently possess, discovering the why in you begins with admit – acknowledge and be honest – about the true condition of your soul (mind and emotions) which determine your behavior. Unfortunately for most, this is the most difficult step to take. Many people prefer to live in a state of denial and delusion than face the constructive pain of suffering that often accompanies truth. There is an adage that states, “Admittance is half the battle.” This is so true! Therefore, by giving yourself the freedom to acknowledge and be honest about how certain events have affected and infected you, you are giving yourself the privilege to move beyond the prison walls of yesterday into the liberating possibilities of tomorrow. This can only be accomplished void of any personal guilt or condemnation. Being honest is therapeutic. There is extreme healing in honesty alone.
Next, it’s time to confront – actively address and challenge – those faulty mindsets and paradigms (belief systems) which have been influencing your behavior. Since no action is void of an associating thought and/or emotion, it is in this stage that you are getting to the heart motive behind your actions. This is a step of deep self-discovery, finding out why you are doing what you’re doing – the reasons behind the actions. Yes, while you actively address and challenge the thoughts and feelings that influence your behavior, you must continually give yourself permission to be honest. Remember your perception is your reality and your feelings are always valid; however, the manner in which your thoughts and feelings are expressed may still be destructive, damaging, and hurt-full to you and those you are in relationship with.
Finally, after you have taken the bold step to admit and the challenging step to confront, it’s now time to deal – take action with diligence by thinking for a change. As you continue to discover the why in you, those faulty mindsets and paradigms (belief systems) must be replaced with thinking patterns that are constructed from a place of healing and no longer rooted in pain. Unbeknownst to most, dealing with you is a life-long process that requires acute self-awareness. Choosing to remain ignorant (unknowledgeable) or “stuck on stupid” (stubborn to acknowledge) to your issues will be detrimental to your health and well-being. Without a personal healing initiative, every relationship you engage in will be at risk.
Similar to a vehicle that requires periodic tune-ups and front-end alignments to drive properly on the road, so do we in order to properly live this walk called life. As long as we have breath in our bodies there will be the need for emotional and mental re-alignments to Truth and wholeness. Refusing to admit, confront, and deal with the why in you causes for others to continually be exposed to the infectious contaminants of your soul (mind and emotions). That just isn’t right! That just isn’t fair! You and your issues can’t be left alone. Someone is dealing with the why in you every single day. Starting today, why don’t you?
© 2011 Julianne Pearson
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