Drop that Class! by Julianne Pearson

While attending college and graduate school, there were individuals that began a class with me that didn’t complete the course of study.  After a few weeks of instruction, they would withdraw or drop the class for various reasons.  Some would state that the subject matter was too difficult; others reported that they were not fond of the instructors’ teaching style.  Additionally, there were those who realized they were not in a posture to take that particular class in light of all the other things that were currently transpiring in their lives. 

      Although throughout my educational matriculation I can only recall dropping one class, there has been other type of classes I had to drop.  Due to ignorance throughout my journey to the Truth of Me, I signed up for certain classes believing I would benefit greatly from the information gleaned.  Oh, how wrong I was!  After discovering through life experiences all that would be required of me, I realized it was no longer beneficial to my learning experience and potential growth for me to regularly gather with other students of  those particular courses of study.  So you know what I did?  I started dropping the classes one by one!  I declared a cease and desist on various subjects in my life.  I was done!  It was over!  Finished!  Kaput!

      By now I’m sure you have realized I am no longer speaking of the traditional classroom experiences.  I’m speaking about those “life experiences” that have left a bitter after taste in my mouth.  You know…those life experiences that make you literally sick to your stomach at the thought of even taking the class again; the classes that make you righteously indignant as you watch others willfully take the same class that brought you so much misery, and you would not desire the painful consequences even on your worst enemy. 

      Although I have dropped classes such as Whining 101, Spiritual Punk 101, and Spirit of Comparison 211, allow me to shed some light on the class I sat in for an unnecessary length of time – False Responsibility 101.

      Yes, you read it correctly – False Responsibility 101!  It was just a few short weeks ago that I finally dropped that class.  For absolutely too long, I chose to live my remixed version of Erykah Badu’s 2000 release entitled, “Bag Lady”.  All God has ever required of me is to rise and acknowledge the Truth that has been revealed to me without the obligation of taking ownership for the revealed Truth that someone else chooses to ignore.  I came to the realization that their denial and consequences are not my responsibility. Therefore, the results of continually taking False Responsibility 101 become an unnecessary weight God never intended for any of us to carry.  Whatever Truth God reveals to us means He is fully confident that we have the ability to respond according to His Purpose, Principles, and Plans. 

      Therefore, I encourage you to begin saying “No” to that class even when professional, master manipulating students try to get you to enroll.  Be confident and say…

·        No!  I did not give you a failing grade.  You chose not to pay attention in class, or do your homework in excellence, and neglected to study for the pop quizzes and scheduled tests.  In all actuality, you earned that grade.

·        No!  I am not the reason why you are on punishment this weekend.  Every decision you make has consequences – good or bad.  Therefore, the consequences of your unwise choices are the reason why your plans have been altered.

·        No!  I did not make you mad.  Managing your own emotions is your responsibility, not mine.  Therefore, stop hitting me!

·        No!  I did not force you to cheat on me.  It was your choice to renege on the commitment you made to God and me before all of our family and friends.

 

·        No!  I am not the reason why you have chosen to remain unfulfilled in a life of discontentment.  Apparently, your misery factor has not outweighed your fear factor.  Therefore, you have chosen to remain in the pain you know without venturing out into the possible and probable joy of the unknown.

      Remember our choices are ultimately reflections of our decisions.  As we experience the consequences of our decisions, we must ask ourselves…what is our dime in this quarter?  Meaning, what unwise choices did we make that resulted in the unfavorable consequences.  Once we accept our dime (portion) in the quarter (situation), we must leave the rest alone!  And if you’re one of the professional, master manipulators, refrain from inappropriately placing blame and take responsibility.  Admit (be honest and acknowledge), confront (actively address), and deal (diligently apply the Word of God) with those character flaws that keep you from living up to your fullest potential.  Please understand I am fully aware there are various factors that influence our decisions (mental assent).  However, never should we negate the personal power of choice by submitting our wills to those destructive influences. 

      Even if False Responsibility 101 is not the non-beneficial class you’re enrolled in, what classes are you signing up for that continue to hinder your ability to live effectively with joy and peace?  Truly, it’s the daily courses of study we take that determine how well we live.  Therefore, choose wisely!  Or like me, just DROP THE CLASS, and pick another one that will assist you in producing more favorable results!

© 2011 Julianne Pearson

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Celebrating My Champions by Julianne Pearson

A few days before Father’s Day 2010, my husband and I were having a heart to heart talk with our children.  Because of our commitment to healing the repetitive dysfunctional behaviors of our ancestors, my husband and I are quite naked and unashamed with them at times – to their chagrin.  However, like any natural hurt or wound, in order for it to heal properly eventually the Band-Aid has to be removed so that air can get to it.  Likewise, the spiritual hurts and wounds of our past must be aired constructively so that the proper healing can take place.

Therefore on this particular Father’s Day, it was Al’s opportunity to receive another level of healing through the power of confession.  As he poured out his heart, my heart actually began to ache in compassion for him like never before.  However, the interesting thing is, Al being naked and unashamed actually gave me a greater appreciation for all the challenges my own father had encountered, survived, and transitioned from this life in the process of conquering.

According to most relationship specialists, it is said that the fellowship (quality of a relationship) a daughter has with her father will be indicative to the fellowship she will have with her husband.  In essence, the qualities and characteristics of her father are an indication of the qualities and characteristics of the individual she chooses to date and eventually marry.  Although there are always exceptions to the rule, this is a prevailing premise.  Naturally, I followed the rule and married someone similar to my dad.

Yes, like any other human being, my father had some frailties and deficiencies; and so does my husband.  However on this particular day, God gave me an opportunity to gain a greater appreciation for one profound quality both of them share – Champion!

I define a champion as one who is a visionary and missionary who is accustomed to rising to the top – eventually!  Let me explain.  A visionary is an individual that has the ability to envision beyond their past disappointments and their present view.  However, a missionary is an individual that possesses the capacity to put into action or make a life-mission of what they envision.  Although many people visualize experiencing more, fewer people possess the missionary spirit to do something about what they envision.  In my opinion, those that forcefully advance with steps of faith to experience what they envision regardless of their past experiences and present circumstances are true Champions!

Similar to my dad, Al has been training to be someone neither one of them had the pleasure of experiencing as a child – an interactive father.  I say training because failure – in Al’s mind just like my dad – is not even an option.  Al is determined to be more, and therefore he continually strives to do more.   Subsequently, Al’s decision (mind-determination) and choices (faith in action) to persevere has broken a destructive family pattern, doing what was initially difficult until it became easy. 

Therefore, today I honor the Champions in my life – my dad and my husband.  Why don’t you join me?  If you have a true Champion in your life – a visionary and missionary – celebrate their efforts to be more which has empowered them to do more than what was done for them.  It is no easy feat!  And yet they have persevered, making their ceiling their children’s floor!  I promise you…because of this Championing spirit, Heaven rejoices!

© 2011 Julianne Pearson

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Admit, Confront, and Deal! by Julianne Pearson

A few years ago, I heard of an interesting conversation a mature daughter had with her father.  After a few moments of dialogue, the daughter laughingly told her father, “Dad, you’ve got issues.”  And without much thought, her father retorted, “Leave me and my issues alone!”

      The reason I found this conversation to be interesting, is because I became engaged at the father’s response … “Leave me and my issues alone!”  I was amazed that this older gentleman thought that he and his issues could actually be “left alone” or remain in an isolated condition – separate from his relationship with his daughter.  What was once interesting became a troubling thought.  How many others believe the same thing?  How many others behave as an island, dismissing the undeniable truth that their actions affect more than just themselves?  How many have unaddressed hurts and wounds of the past that are causing them to behave in a manner that is hurtful and potentially destructive to those they are in relationship with, which adversely affects their fellowship (quality of their relationship)?  How many?  Absolutely too many!

      I must confess, at one point in my life, I was one of the many who had not taken the appropriate time or measures to tend to the wounds of my soul (mind and emotions).  Unfortunately, everyone I was in relationship with was subject to the soul wounds of my past that continued to bleed in my present.  Finally after years of contaminated relationships, I chose to come to the light and allow the air of Truth to begin my healing process.  I am hopeful that if you have been ignorant (unknowledgeable) or “stuck on stupid” (stubborn to acknowledge) to how your issues are affecting others – especially those you claim to love – you will begin to admit, confront, and deal with the why in you – the reasons behind your behavior.   Although the reasons for your behavior may be valid, no longer should they be used as excuses for you to remain the same. 

Someone is Dealing with the Why in You Everyday!

      With the revelation I currently possess, discovering the why in you begins with admit – acknowledge and be honest – about the true condition of your soul (mind and emotions) which determine your behavior.  Unfortunately for most, this is the most difficult step to take.  Many people prefer to live in a state of denial and delusion than face the constructive pain of suffering that often accompanies truth.  There is an adage that states, “Admittance is half the battle.”  This is so true!  Therefore, by giving yourself the freedom to acknowledge and be honest about how certain events have affected and infected you, you are giving yourself the privilege to move beyond the prison walls of yesterday into the liberating possibilities of tomorrow.  This can only be accomplished void of any personal guilt or condemnation.  Being honest is therapeutic.  There is extreme healing in honesty alone.

      Next, it’s time to confront – actively address and challenge – those faulty mindsets and paradigms (belief systems) which have been influencing your behavior.  Since no action is void of an associating thought and/or emotion, it is in this stage that you are getting to the heart motive behind your actions.  This is a step of deep self-discovery, finding out why you are doing what you’re doing – the reasons behind the actions.  Yes, while you actively address and challenge the thoughts and feelings that influence your behavior, you must continually give yourself permission to be honest.  Remember your perception is your reality and your feelings are always valid; however, the manner in which your thoughts and feelings are expressed may still be destructive, damaging, and hurt-full to you and those you are in relationship with. 

      Finally, after you have taken the bold step to admit and the challenging step to confront, it’s now time to deal – take action with diligence by thinking for a change.  As you continue to discover the why in you, those faulty mindsets and paradigms (belief systems) must be replaced with thinking patterns that are constructed from a place of healing and no longer rooted in pain.  Unbeknownst to most, dealing with you is a life-long process that requires acute self-awareness.  Choosing to remain ignorant (unknowledgeable) or “stuck on stupid” (stubborn to acknowledge) to your issues will be detrimental to your health and well-being.  Without a personal healing initiative, every relationship you engage in will be at risk.

      Similar to a vehicle that requires periodic tune-ups and front-end alignments to drive properly on the road, so do we in order to properly live this walk called life.  As long as we have breath in our bodies there will be the need for emotional and mental re-alignments to Truth and wholeness.  Refusing to admit, confront, and deal with the why in you causes for others to continually be exposed to the infectious contaminants of your soul (mind and emotions).  That just isn’t right! That just isn’t fair!  You and your issues can’t be left alone.  Someone is dealing with the why in you every single day.  Starting today, why don’t you?

© 2011 Julianne Pearson

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